Views of Postpartum
When the opportunity to start what is now Momraderie was presented to me, one thing that really excited me was the chance to help other moms. Now that I’m around many other moms I realize that there are so many challenges that we face. While my story isn’t as extreme as some, I had a difficult time transitioning into being a mom. I always wanted to be a mom, but never really understood what it was like until I was in the thick of it, which I think happens to many of us. I was so excited with Momraderie to be able to help others by sharing my story and helping other moms feel open to sharing theirs or at least seeking the help that they may need.
I remember growing up if I didn’t eat my broccoli I was told there are starving children in Africa. While this is an unfortunate fact, eating my broccoli wasn’t going to specifically address that problem. So I think of Momraderie as more than just a store. It’s an opportunity for me, in some small way, to address a need I see in the community. Now it may seem that my true love is combining “mom” with other words, but the idea of mom and friendship was what I wanted to create. I see Momraderie as a place where there will always be a listening ear for customers who want to stop in and say hi or a place for moms who just need to get out of the house to go instead of Wegmans (which was my go to place).
There are so many amazing resources at The Village and I really wish that I had gone to the new mommy meet up with South Jersey Breastfeeding when I was struggling. I had so many friends that had recommended it and encouraged me to go but the thought of even leaving the house gave me so much anxiety I never made it. This is why I really wanted to start the blog portion of Momraderie in addition so I could hopefully reach new moms who had similar struggles and can read this instead of leaving the house. Thankfully I had great friends who I would text ALL the time which helped me feel somewhat connected to the outside world. I just felt so sad, forgotten, and invisible. When I was cleared to start working out, I went to try a Fitness4U class a friend had recommended. The exercise and socializing was SO good for me. I will never forget one day when Nina told me I was doing a good job as a mom. I’m not sure she knows the impact that had on me but those were major words of encouragement that I needed. Ranaan travels and so I was home alone the majority of the time. There would be many days in a row where I would go without seeing another adult or leaving the house. Also, being a new mom I was terrified to take the baby anywhere for fear that he would catch some horrible sickness or something.
I will never forget when Ranaan was recognizing that I really needed help and that with his travel schedule he couldn’t always be that help. We decided that we had to tell his parents, who are in the area. I remember being so embarrassed to admit that I was having trouble that I was crying too hard to talk. After talking to my wonderful in-laws and talking about ways that they could help out, I went to see one of the therapists at Mindful Soul Center for Wellbeing (they now offer a support group at The Village which is awesome). Nicole helped me to figure out ways to feel validated even though I wasn’t financially contributing to our family. The list of fortunes that I have are so long and it makes me feel that my problems in reality and looking back aren’t the end of the world. But at the time emotionally and hormonally I couldn’t handle it and now recognize that it was ok to have those feelings. This was not an easy thing for me to write or share but if it helps one person then it was totally worth it.